海寧格新書「成功的人生」摘要與分享
~~~譯者:魏台鳳 2011.6.8
The movement towards our mother
For many people, there are some early experiences that stand in the way of taking their mother. They experienced an early separation from their mother, for instance. Perhaps they were given away for some time, or their mother was ill, or they themselves were ill, and their mother was not allowed to visit them. Having had such experiences results in deep-seated changes in our feelings and behavior from thereon in.
Through the pain of separation and the sense of being lost without Mother, the despair of not being able to be with her, her, whom we needed so much, an inner decision is reached that says, for instance: “I give up, “”I remain alone.”” I keep my distance from her,” or ”I turn away from her.”
Later, when such a child is allowed to go to the mother again, he or she often keeps a distance, This child might not let her mother touch ger; she closes off to her and to her love. The mother waits in vain, and when she tries to come closer, to take her child into her arms, the child remains in inner rejection, and often also expresses it.
走向母親走向成功
對許多人來說,早期的一些經驗使得他們無法接受他們的母親。例如早期存在著與母親分離的經驗;有些狀況是他們被送走一段時間,或他們的母親生病了,也或許是幼小的他生病了,以致母親無法接近他。從那時刻起,這些經驗都導致他內在深處的感受和行為改變了。 母親,一個我們如此需要的人,經歷了無法與母親在一起和分離的痛,不能與母親相處的絕望感,我們內在深處會升起一個決定:「我放棄,我寧願單獨。」「我要對她保持距離。」或是「我要離開她。」
縱使後來當孩子可以和母親再相聚,他或她都會與母親保持距離。這孩子也許不讓她的母親親近他/她,她封閉了對母親接近和她的愛。這母親無益的等待著,她張開手臂想要靠近她/他,但孩子的內心深處,仍是留存著拒絕,也常會表達這樣的感覺。
The movement towards success
An early disruption in the movement towards our mother shows up later as a decisive obstacle to our success in work, in our profession, in our enterprise. Here, too, it is of great importance that we go towards success instead of waiting for it to come to us. A good example is when we expect returns without having delivered the corresponding effort and achievement, or when we push others to do the work instead of getting into it ourselves, or when we withdraw rather than joyfully go to people and to some work. Every success has the face of our mother.
Here, too, we practice this as an inner movement to our success, to other people, in our willingness to achieve something for them, prepared to serve them. Instead of hesitating, standing still, and waiting for them to move.
We go towards them, we go towards our success, step by step; and in every step, we sense our mother lovingly behind us. In closenses with her, we are well-equipped for our success and we will arrive there, just as we managed to reunite with our mother. First, we went to her—and now to our success.
一個人幼小的時候便與母親的移動是中斷的話,在事業上或工作上出現一個決定性的障礙,同時對於我們走向成功而不是等待成功的到來這件事,也是非常關鍵的。
比如說,當我們期待成就與回報,卻沒有付出相對的努力,或當我們推動他人工作來替代自己深入其中;或是用退縮來替代參與人群、與人合作,這些種種都有著與面對我們的母親有關。
在這裡,我們練習一個朝向成功的移動,誠心誠意的為他人服務;協助他們去達成。而不是猶豫不決地、原地不動地,在那裡等著他們移動過來。
我們走向他們,我們一步步的走向成功,在每一步裡感應到母親的愛在我們的背後支持著,與我們在一起。我們就俱足了成功的條件!我們將成功,就如同成功地與母親重聚。首先,我們先靠向母親,現在,我們走向成功。
海寧格在「成功的人生」這本書中所談到,人們如何朝向母親而朝向成功。個人(台鳳)在這裡提供一個加註的說明:
海寧格以他修習的體悟,讓我們了解,心想事成的成功是可以有方法的。系統排列工作法,是一種後設心理學,是一種超越頭腦的心靈工作,朝向母親,朝向服務的人生觀。
每個人最初始的關係即是與母親的關係。不論這一份關係的”維持” 或”修復”,都不會改變你與母親與生俱有的關係;端在於你如何去感受它!一個準備好與自己關係和諧的人(同意不論如何母親都是愛他/她的人)──是可以走近人群、走入合作的關係裡的。也就是一個不同意自己的人,也很難同意別人。那麼,下意識的與人保持距離是很難達成任何事的
母親生了你,就是生命最大的愛,當我們接受了這原始之愛,同時也豐富了我們的人生。對愛的毫不猶疑,使我們堅定的迎向人生的各種挑戰,以熱愛去回應這世界給予我們的一切,經歷它即是成功。
「成功」沒有一定的形式,它如同每個人各自擁有自己母親的愛一樣,愛無法定義,成功也無法定義。
然而,領受愛和領受生命的成功卻是一樣的!謝謝海師的教導,這篇分享願也帶給你一些新的看見!